Subject #5: On loneliness

There's clear difference between being alone and being lonely. What makes person, who is alone, to feel loneliness? What is loneliness? Is it a fear or desire? After observing it, I would say it's a desire. Desire to love, desire to be loved, desire to get attention and desire to follow the pattern. It can be seen as a fear too, fear of not getting what one desires. Loneliness is also a sign that one does not know oneself. When one says that "I am lonely" - direct counter question is: who is this "I" that is lonely? That's the most essential question one could ever ask: "Who or what is this I?". Note that it's different question than "Who am I?" which is usually just an effort to put some extra labels on created identity. After truly exploring that question, one is never lonely. As Osho said it:

Authentically religious man is an individual.
He is alone, and in his aloness there is great beauty, great splendor.
In your aloness you will reach to the heights of Everest.
In your aloness you will be able to touch the farthest star.
In your aloness you will blossom to your total potential.

Most people are not comfortable alone. They need to be surrounded by people, surrounded by friends, surrounded by husband or wife and it's nightmare for them if they need to spend long time alone. They never start wondering why they feel that way - wondering is avoided at all cost. It seems to me that reason for such behaviour is that so many things are considered self-evident and question "why?" never enters to mind. Loneliness is considered as something negative, something part of life, something one should avoid by keeping oneself surrounded by people. However, ilness cannot be cured with substitutes. It's like instead of examining the ilness, patient invites friends to visit him so his mind will be busy with other things for a while. There are so many similar substitutes for mind.

When one sees beauty of aloness then it no longer matters if one is alone or not. In fact, there will be no real difference between being alone or being with someone - no holes to be filled as one is whole. That is a starting point for other things, such as love. And that also explains why there isn't much love in the world. There's too many substitutes, too little self-observation.