Nature of memories

Why do we seem to value such memories that we have shared with someone much more than non-shared memories?

That was a question that was circling in my mind sometime ago. Most of my memories that come and go are reflections about moments that I shared with people. Does that mean that those moments were "better" than the ones that I spent alone? No, to find answer to the question we must understand the nature of memories. Why do we have memories in the first place? If we have truly enjoyed the moment in its fullness, what's the purpose of the memory of it? By having a memory, aren't we trying to catch part of that present moment? Isn't that the same reason why we take photos, write diaries and so on?

It seems that all memories, which appear in mind, raise feelings inside us - pleasant or non-pleasant. Memories itself are not pleasant or non-pleasant though, such classification comes from the present viewer. So why do those type of memories rise feelings? There are lots of reasons. One of the most common is the desire to re-experience that moment which memory is based on. To get that same enjoyment & pleasure to present moment that was there once. To once again share a moment with the person one was attached to. That's the desire for continuity, in all things that mind finds pleasant. Then there is the idea that everything was once better in the past and one just wants to escape present into sweet memories. Those memories that haunt us, that we try to avoid thinking at all cost are no different than the pleasant ones. Opposite always includes its opposite - therefore that which was once observed as pleasant changes to painful when it's lost.

Mind likes to categorize things, to give them value, to compare them with other things, to label some as special and some as non-special - all that. Memories that have gave most satisfaction to ego, to mind, are marked as most valuable. Naturally same goes vice versa: memories that have hurt ego the most, are marked as the most terrible ones. This is not a static structure
but ever changing.

And no, memories do not haunt me. In the past they were all huge entertainment (& nightmare) for me but I have seen them in new light already for years now. It's like reading an old, friendly book, where hero's adventures seem familiar for some strange reason :)