Subject #17: On sex

Sex is one of those words which point into something that has huge impact on human life. There are even some views that sexual energy affects to all aspects of our life. Media upholds image of sex (just as it upholds image of love and other things) and image is very public & liberal, which is sort of a paradox as sex itself is considered as something very private by most people. There are all kind of desires and fears related to sex. As a desire it’s one of the most strongest one – if not the strongest one. Because of its strength, people are caught up either by feeding the desire or by trying to deny the desire. Both ways have problems of their own.

What is the relationship between sex and love? Is sex expression of love? It can be but then so can anything else as well. Perhaps this whole idea that sex is the ultimate expression of love has been created because ”giving one’s body to another” seems like the most concrete thing one can do. Therefore worst kind of cheating in a relationship is having sex with someone else. It’s like ultimate slap to the face of ego.

Sex is hardly ever just about sex.
~Shirley Maclaine

Some people prefer to make division and use expression ”make love” when love is connected to action and ”have sex” when it is not. Similarily the action with feelings is considered more satisfactory and pure than without them. People are full of such ideas: what kind of moral system should be connceted to sex, what is shameful & shameless, what is normal & pervert and so on. These ideas come from many different sources, religions and media being the most notable ones (and there’s lots of contrast between these two sources).

Why do humans enjoy sex? One could easily say that because of the pleasure (physical & mental) that is connected to it. That is true but I think the force behind it is that in sex two people can momentarily become one. It may happen outside sex too but in sex it’s rather easy to enter into that flow, to lose concept of ”me” and enter into state of no-mind. When looking at it this way, sex is meditation.