Subject #8: On relationship (family)

Relationship is defined as a state of connectedness between people. I will skip romantic relationships here as I will write about them later when subject is love. Other human relationships are connected to friends and family. Family relationship is the first one where people enter into so let’s write about it first. Whole word ”family” is a very ideal concept about certain relationship structure with defined roles and it’s often seen as a shelter. Shelter, because even though people come and go in life, family seems stable and permanent - and permanency is one of the most - if not the most - desired attribute. And when that attribute is connected to ego by saying, for example, ”my children” then it will become source of pleasure and pain.

Usually when man and woman raise children (note that I don’t see need for using role names as ”parents”) they have a tough job. That’s because they have to teach language and therefore trap the child into cage of concepts. They have to (more or less anyway) say what is right and what is wrong, causing the belief in duality. Some of them try to transfer their religion, their work ethic, their traditions, their ideals and so on to the child. All of this is done with good purpose but as a result child either believes everything and becomes respected member of society – a slave, or grows up confused and has a lot to unlearn. Note that term slave is used about one who is not free – how could there be a freedom when one is full of ideas from external sources? In fact, how could there be a freedom when there are ideas at all?

Curiously, Jesus said the following quote, which has caused lots of head scratching among Christians:

Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household.

Another type of relationship is friendship and though it includes some of the same things as described here (like influence of others) it’s still quite different subject and I’ll write about it tomorrow.