Sleepwalking

Wiping eyes,
Not because of tears.
Thoughts,
Same ones,
Solved and remaining
Makes no difference
All the same
Coming and going
Repeatedly
Into
Sleepwalker.

This sleep
Seems everlasting.
Creating an impression
Of a Cyrano
Caught and tamed
Writing plays
For Cardinal
Not realizing
Palace being the cage.

Perhaps,
There will be a time
When feather
No longer
Touches the ink
But instead
Hero grabs
Sword of
Only true moment
Gives a loud curse
And runs free.

The path beyond thought

Recently I finished watching documentary "The path beyond thought", which tells about Steven Seagal's aikido history. Here are two nice quotes from him.

"You never know how long the battle is going to be. You have to be ever ready..."

"What do you have when you got nothing left? Show me what you got..."

When I read the first quote I was thinking how difficult it seems to be constantly aware, constantly attentive. Otherwise fears and desires will get through and battle against "demons" is lost for that moment. I have been there on the battlefield so long. Fought and fought a hopeless battle. Enemy being merely flip side of the same coin that I desired so much.

The second quote is even more beautiful. I leave it without any explanation as words would just spoil it.

Life for rent

We are often moved by a song which we connect to some old experience, some event from our past. Another type of moving is when words of the song touch us because right that moment we feel like the song was made about us, made for us. This second type of moving has happened to me while I have been walking outside in the dark evening, listening this song of Dido:

I haven't really ever found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't lean to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone and live my life more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive

If my life is for rent...