Taboos

Most women want to have children - that’s a fact. With men, that is not so evident. Men usually accept the idea as they see that their partner wants it so much. We can explain the desire to reproduce with several reasons. Of course there’s cultural conditioning, the idea for couples to have children (&get married) is taken for granted. There’s also biological urge for it but even stronger than that there’s psychological urge. Children are seen as something permanent. Something that will always be there for you even if your partner happens to leave you. They are a shelter, a safe haven. They will always love you – at least that’s how we want to see it. It’s kind of same with idea of God and with pets. However, not many people would admit that they want children because they seek security. If one is asked simply ”so why do you want to have children?” – you do not get straight answer. People do not thnk reasons why do they want things, they just want them and that’s it.

Here's an interesting quote from nomarriage.com site:

There is an unspoken taboo in our society where if you admit that having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be and that if you could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have kids, that you are a monster, an evil, despicable monster.

The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They will never say it out loud and they can't even admit that to themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion, they think.

However, underneath it all, underneath all the B.S. is the truth that we all know:

Children are overrated.

For every precious moment where the little brat does something special, there are 1,000 moments where they drive you crazy.

They literally tear your life upside down. Marriage, sex life, your wives appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and on.

Oh yeah, the worst part is yet to come - the teenage years. I could write volumes on this subject.

The reason people have children is because of this unwritten societal norm where the standard is to get married and immediately begin to produce offspring because "that's the thing to do".

Here's another fact for you if you're interested in the subject: the highest points of martial satisfaction are: 1) after the kids leave and 2) before the kids were born. Look it up, it's true.

Wind and mountain

Breeze of a wind
Topples a mountain
Leaving no other trace
But dusty sand.

How do we differ
In our actions
As well as reactions
From those two?

To make a mark
That lasts forever
Eternal union
Between you
And something
Or someone
Is what we
Dream about.

Wind wants nothing
Neither does the mountain
This is only difference:
What is
Instead of
What you want.

I wrote that over month ago on one windy day in the mountains at Manang. Now I am back in Finland, feeling tired and surreal but eager to enjoy pleasures of materialism (in form of new MMA events, games, movies, TV series, etc.). It will probably take some time before my next entry appears to this blog.