Monday, November 12, 2007

Middle road


I have always been moving between two polar opposites in life, from one extreme into another. For example one moment I was a full time dreamer - another moment I did not have a single dream. Both states seemed perfectly reasonable at the time being. When I was a dreamer I kept telling people that they never have a dream without being able to make it true, I encouraged people to dream, to make their life more colorful and adventurous. Then when I was no longer a dreamer I kept telling people that they should not spend their life dreaming when they could just go and do whatever they dreamed about. I also kept saying that dreaming sort of suggests that you think that something is missing from your life and that was not true at all. What do I tell now to people? Nothing. It's up to you which road you take and whichever choice you make it is a right choice. They all have their own, beautiful, scenery.

Having experienced both sides of the same coin in many things I like to think that I am now walking on the middle road. Middle road is all about balance. Here's a post what someone wrote on his blog (http://browofcalm.blogspot.com/2007/06/on-middle-road.html) about the middle road - I can pretty much agree with him:

Sometimes the feeling of simply being alive is so overwhelming that even if I consciously drag all of my drama into the equation I still don’t feel better or worse because of it. That means that in that moment of physical and mental freedom I can think the thoughts but the attached feelings are absent, feelings of fear for example, or guilt, loneliness, distress, utter despair. It’s in these moments of power that I can even laugh at the drama-thoughts and even enjoy them. I can see them as being just as much part of this trip (life) as the peace and love I so desire. The realization of this balance, this dissolve of the wretched paradox duality I have found myself in so often this last year means that the struggles are all in the mind and can all be resolved. Now I know what Buddha means by the middle road, I can feel the neutral state of absolute clarity without pollution, I notice it emanating from my abdomen and resolving anything coming from my surroundings or from within that would otherwise disturb me. I am greatly strengthened by this subtle bliss coming and going like the waves of the ocean, coming and going from within, like it should.