Subject #17: On sex

Sex is one of those words which point into something that has huge impact on human life. There are even some views that sexual energy affects to all aspects of our life. Media upholds image of sex (just as it upholds image of love and other things) and image is very public & liberal, which is sort of a paradox as sex itself is considered as something very private by most people. There are all kind of desires and fears related to sex. As a desire it’s one of the most strongest one – if not the strongest one. Because of its strength, people are caught up either by feeding the desire or by trying to deny the desire. Both ways have problems of their own.

What is the relationship between sex and love? Is sex expression of love? It can be but then so can anything else as well. Perhaps this whole idea that sex is the ultimate expression of love has been created because ”giving one’s body to another” seems like the most concrete thing one can do. Therefore worst kind of cheating in a relationship is having sex with someone else. It’s like ultimate slap to the face of ego.

Sex is hardly ever just about sex.
~Shirley Maclaine

Some people prefer to make division and use expression ”make love” when love is connected to action and ”have sex” when it is not. Similarily the action with feelings is considered more satisfactory and pure than without them. People are full of such ideas: what kind of moral system should be connceted to sex, what is shameful & shameless, what is normal & pervert and so on. These ideas come from many different sources, religions and media being the most notable ones (and there’s lots of contrast between these two sources).

Why do humans enjoy sex? One could easily say that because of the pleasure (physical & mental) that is connected to it. That is true but I think the force behind it is that in sex two people can momentarily become one. It may happen outside sex too but in sex it’s rather easy to enter into that flow, to lose concept of ”me” and enter into state of no-mind. When looking at it this way, sex is meditation.

Subject #16: On prayer and meditation

Prayer and meditation – two very different things but both can be used as tools, as substitutes. When one prays, one usually either requests something or thanks for something – former being more common. Therefore prayer can often be seen as an attempt to move one’s desires into hands of higher power – with hope that by that way one’s desires will become fulfilled. Another function of prayer is to give relief to one’s fears. Prayer is always a tool, it is used mainly to calm down the mind. There are some exceptions when one is no longer asking anything in prayers, then one approaches understanding real joy of life. For example, Saint Francis of Assisi said the following:

When we pray to God we must be seeking nothing - nothing.

Meditation is more complex term because it is used to describe different things. There are many kind of different meditations: buddhist meditation, zen meditation, christian meditation, sufi meditation, vipassana meditation, yoga and so on. They are all general concepts, inside each concept there’s lots of diversity. It seems to me that these are all practices to real meditation, kind of rehearsals. Some of them acknowledge that (for example zen) and some are only tools similar to prayer.

So what is real meditation? Generally meditation practices are about surrendering to ”what is” – subject of yesterday. We are escaping this moment all the time, we’re not really here and now. Meditation practices use different methods to counter that but the main idea is the same. However, all meditation practices are only substitutes because they are treated as a hobby. One can easily get attached into practice itself, to enjoy being in the moment every now and then. Nothing wrong with that but that’s like going out only when it rains. Real meditation covers the whole life, all the moments. It’s not an on/off thing - it’s a constant movement. Alan Watts described real meditation very well:

We could say that meditation doesn't have a reason or doesn't have a purpose. In this respect it's unlike almost all other things we do except perhaps making music and dancing. When we make music we don't do it in order to reach a certain point, such as the end of the composition. If that were the purpose of music then obviously the fastest players would be the best. Also, when we are dancing we are not aiming to arrive at a particular place on the floor as in a journey. When we dance, the journey itself is the point, as when we play music the playing itself is the point. And exactly the same thing is true in meditation. Meditation is the discovery that the point of life is always arrived at in the immediate moment.

Subject #15: Surrender to "what is"

Term ”surrender” is very beautiful. Words itself have no beauty but beauty can be seen in where they point to. Surrendering is giving up. Giving up beliefs, ideas, opinions and expectations – in other words giving up that concept of ”me”. That is the only way how one can see the reality as it is without any filter, which immediately twist one’s vision. Surrendering does not only mean seeing things as they are but also being right here in this moment – there’s no difference between seeing and being, just two ways to express the same thing. That is also where word freedom has its ultimate meaning.

Metaphorically speaking surrendering is like jumping off a cliff - free falling. Humans are terribly afraid of it, afraid of giving up the control, afraid to flow. Still, it happens to everyone every now and then. People experience these moments when they’re not worrying about anything, not planning anything, not escaping the moment anyhow – it may last mere second but it is there. This ”being in the present” is one of the goals of different meditations.

One of the questions related to subject is ”are humans really able to do that on bigger scale than momentarily?”. Yes, and it’s important to notice that this moment is always the only moment there is. Next question would probably be ”how does one do that?”. The answer is always the same: by observing how mind works, by observing ego, by observing this imaginary ”me”. It requires a lots of patience especially in the beginning because mind seems chaotic at first sight. One starts easily fighting with the mind, judging thoughts or analysing thoughts – all leading into greater confusion. Just to observe without approving or disapproving thoughts – that’s the key to understand the mind.

Note that even though I usually give a quote of someone at the end of subject, quote only serves the purpose. I am not (usually) familiar with the quoted person.

Surrender to what is ultimate. Surrender to what you really are!
~Prem Rawat

Subject #14: On memory

There are few reasons why people are not able to live in the present, in this very moment. Reasons are connected to past and future, which do not exist in the present. They do not exist but mind keeps bringing both of them into present all the time. Past, in the form of not only memories but also knowledge, patterns, roles and behaviour. Future, in the form of dreams, worries and plans. If one gets caught up with either one, problems appear. There also seems to be logical pattern in the order of apperance - usually one is first caught up more with the future, and after that more with the past.

How do memories affect us? First a thought about some moment from the past appears. It doesn’t matter if that moment was pleasant or horrible. Because even if the moment was pleasant one – it can cause yearning & pain to see it now. Why is that? Simply because one would like to experience the pleasure of that past moment now. It’s exactly the same when one dreams about something, it causes yearning of that imagined something which one does not have in the present. Only difference is that dream about future does not carry such pain as memory from the past does and that’s because ego has not tasted the dream.

What are memories? I would describe them as shadows of subjective mind - not what was there in the first place as truth cannot be captured. Those shadows become darker as time goes by and also the view to those memories is ever changing. Still, humans value their memories a great deal. It is thought that one’s life is the content of one’s memories, that we exist in order to make memories, that we are the sum of our experiences (memories), that when one becomes old those memories will bring warmth and so on. That is also one reason why people like to take photos, store letters, keep diaries, buy souvenirs, ... – all attempts to capture moments with you.

Sometimes I have used expression ”one is haunted by demons”, referring to memories. The strength of these ”demons” can be immense - people have done suicides or lived the rest of their lives in trauma because of them. The more one dwells in memories, the bigger the effect. To see memories just as memories, without attachment to them and with an open heart – that is the Way. And how does one do that? By observing how mind works.

Poet T.S . Eliot wrote the following quote, which can be understood at least in two different ways:

Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened

Subject #13: On belief of God

Belief of God.....before writing more about it, we should first ponder the concept of God. Which concept of God? God of Christianity? God of Judaism? God of Islam? God of Hinduism? God of Tibetian Buddhism? God of Shinto? God of Baha’i? God of nature? God of some of African/Chinese traditional religions? Gods of Vikings? Gods of Egyptians? Tao of Taoism? There are a lot more general concepts of Gods out there and individual view of God, even inside same religion, is different in each believer. Even in those few religions where originally there was no God, followers have created targets to worship.

So let’s get personal here. Do I believe in God and if I do, what is my view of God? Well, first of all I would say that all the main religions seem more or less same to me. Same message, same essence but the words used to describe it differ based on existed conditions, culture, language and other things. And around that essence people have created different religions by adding lots of stuff which has just created huge deal of confusion, wars and separation from the world. God is not found from religions. The way I see God is that everything is one. There’s no separation between anything. And that wholeness, if you want, can be called as God. This God is everything - not some individual force of power with own will. So in a way we are all ”God”, drops of ocean – sometimes ocean itself. This view of God is not really a belief since there’s nothing to believe in that – nothing supernatural or beyond understanding. Term ”God” can be dropped anytime.

Followers of different religions use God as a tool. It eases the mind very much when one can pray to God, worship God, love & feel loved by God, trust in God, feel safe with God and so on. Even though belief is always targeted into concept, not into real thing – placebo works. That placebo is same kind of substitute as other substitutes mentioned in earlier subjects. Concepts of God are also used to control people: ”God would want you to do this, to be like this” and as a carrot there’s usually some reward waiting, like getting into paradise and on the other side there can be a fear of punishment, like hell.

People have huge interest of finding external God while if they had same interest of finding who they are, they would end up seeing God - not the concept. Buddha was often asked about questions like whether there was a God or life after death or who created the world and so on. Usually he refused to answer to such questions as he saw that it was just an attempt to seek substitutes. The following story is classic example about that:

To a follower who insisted on knowing, "Is there a God?", Buddha replied with the parable of the poison arrow. "if you were shot by a poison arrow, and a doctor was summoned to extract it, what would you do? Would you ask such questions as who shot the arrow, from which tribe did he come, who made the arrow, who made the poison, etc., or would you have the doctor immediately pull out the arrow?"

"Of course," replied the man, "I would have the arrow pulled out as quickly as possible." The Buddha concluded, "That is wise O disciple, for the task before us is the solving of life's problems; when that is done, you may still ask the questions you put before me, if you so desire."

Subject #12: On criticism

Being critical is in itself very needful quality. One must be very critical in order to create that rebellous spirit which makes one impugn everything. That spirit must exist so that one starts asking ”why?” and ”what is?” questions. These questions lead us seeing through masks, formulas and illusions. All spiritual characters through history have been highly rebellious and therefore society has seen them as a danger.

However, that criticism should be targeted into world of oneself, not against another. Being critical about someone else simply leads nowhere. The one who criticizes the other fails to accept the other as he/she is and the one who is being criticized usually takes (lets ego take) criticism badly. Franklin P. Jones gave the following humorous quote about it:

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

One criticizes the other when one wants other to change in some way. That some way is the way how one’s ego wants it. Change does not happen that way as only oneself can make the change and even that can be difficult. Still, people keep hoping for the change of other and keep saying (criticizing) about it. This goes on for years and disappointed critic keeps wondering why there’s no change after so much of criticism. Almost everyone is in that circle, either being critic or criticized – most often both.

About facing criticism, John Wooden put it this way:

You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.

I would prefer to modify it and say it like this:

If one lets praise or criticism affect, it will be a victory of ego and loss of oneself.

Subject #11: On hate

People often think that hate is related to love, that love and hate are opposites of the same coin and that love can turn into hate. This is common misunderstanding about love & hate. Love cannot turn into anything, love just IS. Hate, on the other hand, is the highest form of egoism. When one feels hate, ego is there with 100%. Hate is the result of one’s ego being hurt a lot and that pain usually comes from desire.

There are no valid reasons to hate people but there are plenty of reasons to feel compassion for them. Hating someone seems not only waste of energy but also inability to see that one, not the other, is responsible for the pain. That requires giving up scapegoats, giving up self-pride and giving up concepts of wrongdoing & forgiveness.

What about anger, how is that related to hate? I would put it this way: anger is moment full of ego while hate is carrying that moment with you. One stops all anger and hate by constant mind observation – by awareness. It’s a start if one can fast exintguish flames when they have appeared but it becomes mastery only when one is catched with a matches in the hand.

Herman Hesse expressed it in the following way:

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is a part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.

Subject #10: On boredom and interest

Boredom is usually defined as lack of interests. Those interests are usually actions, if one feels that there’s nothing to do then frustration rises and people have named that frustration feeling as ”boredom”. Boredom is labelled as negative and interest as positive – people try to avoid the former and gain the latter. However, it seems that whether one is spending time by doing something interesting or doing nothing and feeling bored – they are both just ways to avoid the real problem. What real problem is that? Problem of finding the joy in being.

Let’s see how it goes. Interest is linked to external thing which causes pleasure. Boredom is lack of interest. Therefore one is either feeling pleasure because of some external thing or feeling frustrated because pleasure is missing – where is the real joy? Even though to many people words ”joy” and ”pleasure” seem like synonyms, here they are used differently. Pleasure is a momentary feeling which targets of our desires produce (to be more exact: our minds produce that feeling in the basis of projected image of desire). Joy is not a result of desire, it has no reason and it’s always right here. Metaphorically speaking, joy is the sun – warming up always even if one’s mind has created too many clouds to see it. And pleasure, well it can be anything that ego-oriented mind hungers for.

Schopenhauer saw the same:

Boredom is just the reverse side of fascination: both depend on being outside rather than inside a situation, and one leads to the other.

There’s nothing wrong with having lots of interests. But if interests exist because one would feel bored without them – then it’s just about attempt to cover up something, same kind of substitute as mentioned in subject #5. The amount of these substitutes in human life is staggering. Movement from world of pleasures into world of joy is sometimes called as enlightenment, sometimes as going to heaven and sometimes as returning to long-lost home.

Subject #9: On fear

Our mind generates our fears, they do not exist beyond the mind. That sounds obvious but still most people keep carrying their fears with them – acceptance without investigation. Fear, just like desire, is always connected to some thing. And even though there are millions of things, fear itself is basically the same.

There is a relationship between fear and desire. One could say that they are often different sides of the same coin. If there's a desire of something, fear connected to that something always exists. However if there's a fear of something, desire connected to that something may or may not exist. In other words, as long as there are desires, there will be fears - however fears can exist without desires.

So how does one put an end to fear? There are two steps. First step is to observe one's fearful thoughts and see why mind creates them. It's not a matter of deep analysis, just see the thought and cause becomes clear. Second step is to see who/what is that who becomes afraid because of those thoughts - expression "I am afraid" is not correct. These steps can be vice versa but both should be experienced, not just understood intellectually.

At the end, this quote by Trevor Kay should give something to ponder about:

Why are we scared to die? Do any of us remember being scared when we were born?

Definition of friendship

I didn't try to define it in any way in my last post but since I was asked about it, I would put it today this way:

Friendship: Sharing of moments in this precious life.

Immediately after I wrote that a thought came to my mind - doesn't the same apply to love? Well, yes.

Subject #8: On relationship (friends)

Friendship. Some years ago I was having email discussion with a friend about definition of true friendship. Back then we agreed that such friendship is the one without any expectations. So often friends start expecting things from each other and then become disappointed when expectations don’t realise. When both sides have expectations about each other, the whole thing becomes symbiotic - ”as long as we both get something from this, we’re friends”. Expectations are the bane in all kind of relationships. There’s usually great denial when this formula is presented to people but if one really looks at objectively – that’s how most friendships work and that’s why people make friends in the first place.

Also in that discussion we concluded that while people like to ”have” friends for various reasons, selfishness was always there. This friend of mine believed though that in addition to selfishness perhaps there was some mystical element, feeling, beyond any analysis that formed true friendship. My response to that was that one could always create such mystical & special feeling into friendship if one wanted to and that perhaps we do it subconsciously in some friendships.

It should be noted that while the selfish reasons are there, they’re not negative in any way as long as one is aware of them. To be aware of one’s egoism – that’s a blessing. And what comes to expectations, it’s really not hard at all to stop expecting things from friends. Once the formula is truly realized, expecting vanishes. Much tougher case is expectations in romantic relationship but that’s a subject for later.

This quote from unknown author is my favourite friendship quote:

The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had.

And another one from Richard Bach whose books impressed the young dreamer a lot:

Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.

Subject #8: On relationship (family)

Relationship is defined as a state of connectedness between people. I will skip romantic relationships here as I will write about them later when subject is love. Other human relationships are connected to friends and family. Family relationship is the first one where people enter into so let’s write about it first. Whole word ”family” is a very ideal concept about certain relationship structure with defined roles and it’s often seen as a shelter. Shelter, because even though people come and go in life, family seems stable and permanent - and permanency is one of the most - if not the most - desired attribute. And when that attribute is connected to ego by saying, for example, ”my children” then it will become source of pleasure and pain.

Usually when man and woman raise children (note that I don’t see need for using role names as ”parents”) they have a tough job. That’s because they have to teach language and therefore trap the child into cage of concepts. They have to (more or less anyway) say what is right and what is wrong, causing the belief in duality. Some of them try to transfer their religion, their work ethic, their traditions, their ideals and so on to the child. All of this is done with good purpose but as a result child either believes everything and becomes respected member of society – a slave, or grows up confused and has a lot to unlearn. Note that term slave is used about one who is not free – how could there be a freedom when one is full of ideas from external sources? In fact, how could there be a freedom when there are ideas at all?

Curiously, Jesus said the following quote, which has caused lots of head scratching among Christians:

Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household.

Another type of relationship is friendship and though it includes some of the same things as described here (like influence of others) it’s still quite different subject and I’ll write about it tomorrow.

Subject #7: On awareness

Awareness is about seeing reality as it is, not as one would like it to be. Seeing everything without one's ego - therefore without judging, without preference, without past and future, without idea structures, without any filter which distorts the vision of what really is. It is the result of self observation when one becomes aware of the function of mind and finds out what really is this "me". One with clear vision. Another expression for awareness is being awake.

Most people are at deep sleep and remain in sleep their whole life. There may be sudden moments for them when they open slightly their eyes, see nothing but darkness and fall immediately back to sleep. And when they're sleeping, they see nightmares - in other words, they suffer. Still, the paradox is that people don't want to wake up because it threats to take away their toys of pleasure, their desires, their shelters of religions, their identity and so on. Awakened one has let go of grip of past and tension of future - only present is real.

Anthony de Mello expressed it in very fine way:

Most people tell you that they want to get out of kindergarten, but don't belive them. Don't believe them! All they want you to do is to mend their broken toys. "Give me back my wife. Give me back my job. Give me back my money. Give me back my reputation, my success." This is what they want; they want their toys replaced. That's all. Even the best psychologist will tell you that, that people don't really want to be cured. What they want is relief; a cure is painful.

I could also note that it was Anthony de Mello's book Awareness (where that quote comes from) which got me into spirituality. Though I have always been a wonderer and interested about deep questions of life, that book started my real inner journey. And what a journey it has been so far... Am I aware? Am I awake? You might want to ask me those questions but what really matters is how is it with You?

Subject #6: On suffering

Suffering is something we're all familiar with. In fact, it's so common to us that people have just accepted it as part of their life instead of trying to understand the roots of suffering. There are two main things which cause suffering: desire and fear. Anytime when you feel, for example, sad or depressed or miserable or angry or jealous or proud it's linked either to desire of something or fear of something. Quiet observation would reveal the root but people tend to look for external scapegoats and blame them for their suffering - that of course changes nothing and suffering continues.

Buddha put it this way in his four noble truths:

There is suffering.
There is the origin of suffering.
There is the cessation of suffering.
There is the path to the cessation of suffering.

Sounds simple? First part is obvious to everyone. Second part requires that one stops looking for reasons outside onself and instead starts seeing what happens inside. That takes lots of humility because we must accept that we are responsible for the suffering, it's created by our mind and not by others. Third and fourth part may seem to require faith but the question is just if mind can be free from desires and fears or not. In my humble opinion, it can be. It just requires total awareness and that will be my next subject tomorrow.

People always look for practical advices. Therefore question "how?" is very common in spirituality. How does one liberate oneself from suffering? What must one do? There are tons of answers to those questions by different people or by different books (ten commandments in bible & eight-fold path in buddhism) . Advices can be practices, methods, meditations, moral codes, ceremonies, rituals and so on. There is no perfect answer which you can hear from others but there is perfect answer which you can find yourself.

Subject #5: On loneliness

There's clear difference between being alone and being lonely. What makes person, who is alone, to feel loneliness? What is loneliness? Is it a fear or desire? After observing it, I would say it's a desire. Desire to love, desire to be loved, desire to get attention and desire to follow the pattern. It can be seen as a fear too, fear of not getting what one desires. Loneliness is also a sign that one does not know oneself. When one says that "I am lonely" - direct counter question is: who is this "I" that is lonely? That's the most essential question one could ever ask: "Who or what is this I?". Note that it's different question than "Who am I?" which is usually just an effort to put some extra labels on created identity. After truly exploring that question, one is never lonely. As Osho said it:

Authentically religious man is an individual.
He is alone, and in his aloness there is great beauty, great splendor.
In your aloness you will reach to the heights of Everest.
In your aloness you will be able to touch the farthest star.
In your aloness you will blossom to your total potential.

Most people are not comfortable alone. They need to be surrounded by people, surrounded by friends, surrounded by husband or wife and it's nightmare for them if they need to spend long time alone. They never start wondering why they feel that way - wondering is avoided at all cost. It seems to me that reason for such behaviour is that so many things are considered self-evident and question "why?" never enters to mind. Loneliness is considered as something negative, something part of life, something one should avoid by keeping oneself surrounded by people. However, ilness cannot be cured with substitutes. It's like instead of examining the ilness, patient invites friends to visit him so his mind will be busy with other things for a while. There are so many similar substitutes for mind.

When one sees beauty of aloness then it no longer matters if one is alone or not. In fact, there will be no real difference between being alone or being with someone - no holes to be filled as one is whole. That is a starting point for other things, such as love. And that also explains why there isn't much love in the world. There's too many substitutes, too little self-observation.

Subject #4: On knowledge

Definition of knowledge is: What is known by perceptual experience and reasoning. That experience can be, for example, studying a book or hearing something from someone or conclusion from action. Roots of knowledge are always in the past. Knowledge is neccessary for us, otherwise we would not survive here. However, knowledge has its limits because it's always based on stabile idea structures of the mind. Knowledge becomes hindurance when one tries to see something as it really is, to have a clear vision. Truth is fresh. And the moment one tries to say something about it, it disappears - it's like trying to catch ocean with strainer.

To know and to be. Human mind can store a huge amount of knowledge but mere gathering of knowledge does not penetrate into being. One may know that hate is futile but to be free from hate is a wholly different matter. Or one may know that love is answer to everything but to really love is something else.

All of us are familiar with learning. Only few of us are familiar with unlearning. Unlearning is about clearing your mind from ideas how to act, how to be, how to live, what things are shameful or shameless, what is right and wrong and so on. These are ideas from society, from your parents, from your friends, from media, from culture, from traditions, from religions, from all external sources. Freedom is not achieved by absorbing such ideas. It should be noted that clearing your mind does not mean forcefully throwing those ideas away (and that does not even work - feel free to try) but instead of taking any such idea into observation. In close observation whatever idea was, it starts to wane as you start to see absurdity behind it.

Knowledge and words have relationship. Big part of knowledge is based on words and ideas about their meaning. It's important to be aware of problems of trying to describe reality with words. One of my favourite stories is about father of Taoism, Lao Tzu:

The disciples were absorbed in a discussion of Lao Tzu's dictum:
Those who know do not say;
Those who say do not know.
When the master entered,
They asked him what the words meant.
Said the master, "Which of you knows the fragrance of a rose?"
All of them indicated that they knew.
Then he said, "put it into words."
All of them were silent.

Subject #3: Why spiritual teachers?

Before we start talking about spiritual teachers, we should first define word "spirituality". To me, this word means the essence. Essence of what? Of reality in its wholeness. Of everything. Another word for same thing is "religiousness" but I prefer not to use it as people mix it with religions. That essence has no ties to any particular religion though characters, to which different religions are based on, did experience the essence.

It's very important to notice that these characters, to which religions are based on, did not teach religion. They were all spiritual teachers. Unfortunately human mind has tendency to seek authority, which would tell what is right and what is wrong & what to do and how to be. The power of that desire has made people to create religions & rituals and get stuck with words of the "holy" writings such as bible, quaran, vedas, sutras and so on. Instead of inside journey into oneself, attention is focused into interpretation of words of others.

The way I see it, teachings of spiritual teachers (like Buddha, Jesus, Bodhidharma, J. Krishnamurti, Osho, Gurdjieff, Dogen, Anthony de Mello, Tilopa etc) can help one's journey. They are like climbing equipment which eases the desending of a mountain. The danger is that one becomes fascinated by equipment set and just stays at the top of the mountain watching equipment. In any case, sooner or later one must throw away that set because it is no longer needed, it has served its purpose.

Usual question here is that how does one know which spirtual master is "right"? Well, one should be very skeptical with all teachers - famous or not. If the message makes sense to you - good. If it doesn't - just leave it. Just as long as this "sense" is not based on believing something because of the beauty of idea or because it involves gaining something, you will be fine. The message should be confirmed by your actual being, otherwise it's worthless.

Subject #2: On nationalism

Nationalism is the cause of all wars. If there were no borders, no goverments, no politicians then who would be fighting who? And the ironic thing is that in reality there are no borders, no countries - they only live in people's minds. And human mind has tendency to seek acceptance, to belong in a group, to classify and label everything, to create one's identity and connect it to concept of country. Of course the same thing happens not only with concept of country but with culture and race as well. Nationalism is absence of freedom even though word liberty is very common in nationalism.

If one travels around the world, one of the most common questions encountered is "where are you from?". I play by the rules by saying that I'm from Finland only because if I said that to me countries do not exist people would not understand. What is a country? Why people cheer when their "own country" does well in some sport? Why people who considers themselves as citizens of one country choose not to like citizens of another country? When one considers him/herself as citizen of one country, that means that one connects group of ideas into own identity. And one is proud of those ideas and will defend them with dear life if necessary (=concept of patriotism). That's a crazy game which people choose to play.

There have been many visionaries saying that one day there will be just one country, the whole world being it. I have also always thought so, that would be one step closer to the light. But I can't see it happening anytime soon, the game is so strong that it would need some extraordinary events to make people aware enough.

Subject #1: On the present crisis

Ok, let's begin the discussion about the present crisis. Crisis itself is not a new, it has existed here as long as humans have. It has just grown bit more and more in modern world. So what crisis are we talking about? I already listed some roots of crisis when explaining my blog's title.

Why do people live their life the way they do? Typical pattern for life seems to be education, job, marriage, family, growing materiality, retire and die. This pattern creates a huge list of questions but main ones are what's the purpose of all of those things? Note that I'm not condemning that pattern but how many people are really aware why do they do this or that? First five things listed in this pattern most often lead into attachments. And those attachments are not targeted into things itself but into mind's ideas of things.

So many people seek happiness. If you ask someone "are you happy?", you almost never (unless he/she has just experienced something very pleasant) hear straight "yes I am" answer. The most common answer is that "I'm ok" and when you ask more you find out that the person would be (in other words, chooses to be) happy only if that person gets something. Such person always bases hope of happiness to the future, to somewhere distant. And the whole point of happiness is missed.

Responsibility. Usually people understand this word by thinking that one must be responsible for actions which affect other people. The way I understand the word is that responsibility means that you understand that all your problems are created by your mind and blaming someone else is just a missed chance to see the real source of problems.

Humans are getting better in science all the time. They know how to travel in space and how human DNA looks like. Outside world is measured and examined with great effort. Inside world has remained dark and people still battle with same problems than thousands of years ago. Of course there has been some efforts to explore this inside world. Science has tried it with psychology and religions have given tools to cope with it. Neither approach solves the problem.

All my life I have been watching people all around the world and wondering why they live such life. Why so many things are taken for granted? All those little beautiful things missed and all those insignificant things raised to the pedestal. Matrix does not exist only in movies, it’s here as well. Except that here nobody will offer you red or blue pill.

Some subjects for later

I have a book "The first and last freedom" by J.Krishnamurti and the index gives perfect subjects to write about (by the way I have not started reading that book yet which is even better):

1. On the present crisis
2. On nationalism
3. Why spiritual teachers?
4. On knowledge
5. On loneliness
6. On suffering
7. On awareness
8. On relationship
9. On fear
10. On boredom and interest
11. On hate
12. On criticism
13. On belief of God
14. On memory
15. Surrender to "what is"
16. On prayer and meditation
17. On sex
18. On love
19. On death
20. On time
21. On action without idea
22. On the old and the new
23. On naming
24. On the known and the unknown
25. Truth and lie
26. On immediate realization
27. On simplicity
28. On the meaning of life
29. On the confusion of the mind
30. On transformation

I skipped few subjects and may skip some of those listed ones too. But the idea is to write something about all of them. So on next blog entry the subject will be "On the present crisis".

Random thoughts

After thinking more about writing a blog, I realized that I would not want to write about my daily life. Like what did I do or where did I go or anything like that. Which interests me are different subjects. The title of my blog - Tears Of Humanity gives suggestion of those subjects. It was difficult to choose a title as it seemed like all the normal ones were taken so somehow I came up with this title. Words always point into things, they are not the thing itself (basic zen). Ok, so where is Tears Of Humanity pointing to?

Suffering, despair, desire, problems, fighting, anger, hatred, greed, jealousy, enviousness, possessiveness and so on - to all that. And that's what creates tears into people all around the world. That's the "curse" of humanity. Curse is of course bit harsh word as it would imply that there's no way out of that curse. There is.

So what I would like to write is about all things related to those tears as well as things which turn tears into laughter. And that kind of writing tells more about me than any mundane description of my actions.

Blog...hmmm

So I was just planning to write a comment to one other person's blog but it required registering so now I could start writing a blog of my own. I have considered it sometimes but being so lazy person the idea has never progressed. Besides, I have also often wondered why do people keep blogs. Is it their way express themselves? Or to keep their friends updated about what they're doing and thinking? Or is it some kind of self pride about own life which must be shared? I don't know about them but of course the next question would be - why would I keep blog myself?

It's a great question. Let me think a while :) Ok, I think for me it would be to let my friends & acquintances know what's up with me at the moment. Also I enjoy writing and this would give me a reason to activate myself on that field.

Let's see how often I will keep this up - I make no promises ;)